Tuesday, August 20, 2013

Donal Mahoney- Two Poems

Maiden Aunt Advises Niece Tiffany

A new coiffure would help.
Your hair should flounce
when you walk.

Spiff up your wardrobe.
Try cashmere sweaters
and fitted skirts.

Great shoes are a must.
Heels high enough to click 
"Welcome" on the sidewalk.

You're a lady, Tiffany.
That's important but
bait sets the hook.

Add frippery to folderol 
and stroll down Fifth Avenue
on a brilliant summer day.

Wear a new frock
and don't just sashay.
Put some oomph into it. 

Smile for no reason at all.
And before summer's over,
you'll be wearing a big ring.

Fruit Cocktail

I met a man with many wives
when I was selling pots and pans
door-to-door out West.

He owned a ranch
and wore patched overalls 
with red suspenders plus 

a cowboy hat above 
a bushy black mustache.
We got to talking

at the General Store 
and I asked him why 
one wife wasn't enough.

He said, "You like fruit?"
"All but grapefruit."
"Understood," the fellow said,

"but every now and then
I bet you'd like a peach 
instead of a banana or 

an apple instead of an orange." 
"Understood," I said.
"It's like pots and pans.

One pot's great for oatmeal
but you'll need a different one
for a fine ragout."

Donal Mahoney lives in St. Louis, Missouri.

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