Trump Takes Command
When his campaign fell 273 delegates
short of ensuring his nomination,
Donald Trump took to the Convention’s
podium, and to cheers from “Donald Heads”—
all of them carrying concealed weapons—
declared himself “The strong man
this country obviously is desperate for.”
He ordered his minions to arrest
the other candidates of both parties,
plus their advisers, staffs, and spouses.
Then, leading a commando force, he stormed
the White House, had the president executed
as an Islamist traitor, and relegated the First Lady
and her daughters to concubine status,
“To service our boys fighting ISIS,” he shouted
to more cheers. Finally, the Generalissimo put up
his feet on the Oval Office desk, and quipped,
“This job’s nothing compared to running
my real estate empire. Get me whoever’s
the Jap prime minister; it’s time they ponied up
for us protecting their asses from the Commies.
“Same goes for the Saudis, Frogs, and Krauts.
Then build a wall along the Mexican border
and send them the bill; and if their president
opens his yap, shoot him. Oh yeah, and vaporize
the North Koreans, Iranians, Cubans, and the Chinese.
Then get me Putin; much as I admire his grit
and style, he’s got to learn who’s in charge.”