ODE TO THE SOUTH AFRICAN CLOCKWORK AUTOMATIC SHOTGUN
Shorter than a riding crop, no bulkier
than a plumber’s helper. Releases
a 2.6 second burst of twelve shells
into any crowd approaching too close for comfort.
Also compatible with solid shot.
Magazine may be loaded and key-wound
in less than twenty-five seconds.
At which point the crowd is ready
for another 2.6 second burst
of a couple thousand pellets
hurled faster than sound
in a pattern guaranteed
to spatter the most guts on the wall,
for your money.
Weighs under ten pounds.
May be held in one hand,
as there is virtually no recoil.
Clockwork programmed to bypass duds.
Impossible to jam. This gun is music
to the clenched teeth of Civilizations’s ears.
Intended for use against outrageous attacks.
You may want one for around the home.
WARNING: International Law strictly prohibits use of this weaponon pheasant.
First appeared in "Thunder Sandwich."
Post a Comment