Joseph Goosey- Two Poems

IF FOUND PLEASE CALL 
 

Those with tattoos of cupcakes need not apply
and also if you’ve “been keeping busy” 

please go home,  go home 

and stay there. I don’t mean to be smarmy 

considering my penchant for disease
which is likely to cause an outburst at the upcoming Seder.
A thousand lotions in my day was nothing
I bark, handing my phone to a ten year old,
so he can dial the number of the dog transport service
driving ahead of us on 15-501.
We suspect it's really a rape van.
Nobody answers. Pretty difficult to simultaneously rape, drive, and use up minutes.
For concern of squelching what little faith Nicole maintained
I pretend indifference or a breathless fish.
There is a Nutrigrain bar in my heart
and a retrospective in the toilet.
Any changes to your document
will be lost. I fear
alcoholism
like I fear a triceratops:
Anything could burst through the floor. 

HOW ABOUT YOU AND I GET OUT OF HERE HEAD SOMEWHERE QUIET AWAY FROM THIS BURNT POPCORN SMELL
 

I got into standup comedy
in an attempt to get out
of just about everything else

including that which I’ve tried so hard to enter

Meaning the angular distance of your cornea
was noted for the first time a little over nine months ago
and the baby is late
probably because of you've been stuffing that hole you bore in my skull

with taco filling

difficult for a baby

to swim through so much taco filling

or say my womb head is the kitchen drain

I haven’t washed a dish in two months
so the weight of the pile in my sink
is probably greater than that which a baby is able to lift
So nail me in the crawl space

and not in the hot way 

bio thing: Joseph Goosey is in Southern Pines, North Carolina where he reads court records in exchange for capital. His work has appeared in some number of places.