Steven Hendrix- Three Poems

the lean, mad days

I'm not hungry now

but I was once

those Long Beach days

those lonely, mad student days

competing with the cockroaches

foraging for food in the cupboards

anything I might have missed

every other time I looked

"let me know if you find anything"

I yelled out in the direction of the

scurrying, pattering legs on wood and linoleum

and when I heard the sound fade into the walls

I knew they hadn't found anything either

after the arguments

it had been one of our worst

I remember smashing

your plastic container

against my forehead

running downstairs

and banging my head

against the door

hoping to knock

myself out

in a search for sympathy

but as always

never hitting my head

hard enough

out of fear

of what might happen

I walked to the end

of the block

and back twice

before coming in

you pointed to the door

where the blood was

I remember thinking

I couldn't have slammed

my head that hard

I would have felt something

then you showed me

the plastic container

cracked with sharp

jagged edges

and the yelling started again

it was suddenly

your favorite container

and you demanded

I replace it

and neither of us

remembered

what the original argument

was about

the unborn

it was a beautiful spring day

the sound of birds

the smell of flowers

coming in through the open window

as I walked toward it to look out

it began to slide shut

slowly at first

but when I put my hand upon it

to stop it

it slid faster and gained force

and momentum

I brought both hands to it

and braced myself

pushed with all my strength

to keep it open

but couldn't 

when I looked out

the now closed window

winter had already set in

there were no leaves on the trees

a layer of snow covered the ground

and the sky was dark

and ominous

Steven Hendrix received his BA in Comparative Literature and his MA in English Literature from California State University, Long Beach.  His work has appeared in or is forthcoming from Chiron Review, Pearl, Re)verb, Silver Birch Press, Drunk Monkeys, Creepy Gnome, and Cadence Collective, among others.  He co-hosts the reading series at Read On Till Morning in San Pedro, CA and currently resides in Southern California.