Wednesday, September 23, 2015

Noel Negele- Three Poems


Upon returning home one morning
Hangovered to the endmost
Significantly more dead than alive
I saw an ex girlfriend
Taking her new boyfriend's dog out
For a walk, talking to her cell phone
Pretending she doesn’t see me
Decreasing the boredom wherever she went
With so much life upon her legs
And even more so
Between her thighs
She was a wildflower once and still,
Blossomed stubbornly at the edge of the cliff
And I the poor bastard tried to grab her 
And hold onto her fire
But like with most things in my life
I plummeted into failure
Deep down the end of the pit
And like with most things
I still stare up
From the rough surface of the bottom
Wondering about what could’ve been
If the lot of things were different in my life-
I tell you
Sometimes it’s difficult to walk across the street
And keep the holes in your soul
From leaking all the wrong things in plain view,
Especially when love becomes as useless
As a used up condom floating on the puddle
Of the sink
Like a hurricane worn sailcloth
Unfit to even
Wipe your ass with.

Officially 24

Sitting there amongst all the bad boys
Watching a lousy football match 
In the stifling smoke filled atmosphere
Of an underground poker place
18 beers drunker than I should’ve been
I managed a whole new level of stupidity
By staring at this girl I shouldn’t stare
Next to her ugly ass gigantic boyfriend 
Who’s been in prison more times than I’ve vacationed
In my life
And to my defense she liked my colors too-
But anyway the man came over my table
Asking in a not so polite manner
About what the hell am I looking at-
And you must understand I was drunk brave and eager 
To descent lower to the barrel of uselessness and futility
So we went outside together- awkwardly walking towards the pavement
Where he essentially beat the hell out of me
Taking half a piece of a tooth of mine
Along with the last shred of dignity I had left.

There is a kind of freedom in the indecency of 
Your ungrateful sadness
And in the absolute understanding of your uselessness
That just brings peace inside the center of your agony

And I stood up after a while 
Wondering about how am I going 
To get inside again to pay the bill
Without everyone smirking and laughing
At me
But then I realized I had already paid the bill
So I started to walk away
Trying to whistle
Through my half broken tooth.

No one gives a shit
If it’s your birthday or not.


The chain - smoking girl
quick to shed tears
wears your white shoes
walks carelessly 
amongst a disarray of bottles and cans
in a short black dress

a creature in love
in love with you

in the mornings she wakes up
can’t quite handle it when you're asleep
because she feels alone
and so she wakes you up too
rubs against you
kisses and bites

it’s all for you

lying on bed and joking
not thinking much about the badness anymore
you're not saved
but you're closer to deliverance
than before

saying that you could lie in bed for days
and you both mean it

drunk and talking about Dostoevsky
how many girls are there anyway
that would initiate a conversation about ol' fiodor? 

covered by a blanket on the couch
drinking and giggling with the news
as outside religious zombies
spill in the streets towards the churches
like a mass of idiocy, 
and as the firecrackers explode
something in this house explodes too

we are burning in a wonderful way 
and no one but us knows it

and at dawn at my lowest
I rang your bell
and you came down covered in that blanket
and in the elevator up
you covered me too

as we stared at our reflection in the mirror

and in the stillness of today’s noon
I left you there at the stairs
like the scumbag that I am

but you must understand 
most of us lousy creatures
compromise with love
as we compromise with everything else
and I don’t like to be that way

I don’t love you
and I'd like it if I did
but I don’t
and I'm sorry

and leaving you there
I knew that it meant
turning back to the emptiness of me
but that’s fine now
you can get used to your soul
leaking all the time

and at the bus stop
a couple on bicycles 
rode by laughing

and I looked at the clock and it was
6 in the afternoon

and it was ticking towards
the only direction

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