Monday, September 7, 2015

Alan Catlin- Three Poems

                                                Low cut t-shirt
                                                says: FUCK THE WORLD
                                                on the front

                                                YOU’RE NOT PART OF
                                                MY WORLD, on the back

                                                Pulls folded double
                                                sawbuck from her too
                                                tight jeans says,

                                                “Tequila.  Hold the salt.
                                                Hold the lime.”

                                                Stares into the bartender’s
                                                eyes, says, “Today.”

                                                            Sex on the Beach(without sand)

                                                            She was one
                                                            of those inane
                                                            windswept 22
                                                            year old blondes
                                                            who spent half
                                                            of their lives
                                                            adjusting their hair
                                                            in back bar mirrors
                                                            trying to look sexy.
                                                            Always orders some-
                                                            thing stupid like sex
                                                            on the beach without
                                                            sand and gives you this
                                                            look with a slightly
                                                            curled lip that’s
                                                            supposed to make me
                                                            cream in my jeans and
                                                            give her a free drink too,
                                                            neither of which I do.
                                                            My partner asks me,
                                                            “What goes in that?”
                                                            “The drink or the girl?”

                                                                for Leo r.i.p.

 He said:" Hold

 that shot of Cuervo
 until she takes
 off her shoe.
 Ok, we still need
 the lemon and
 salt on the side."
 I thought being
 grossed out was
 a thing of the past
 until the kitchen
 lady sd:" I saw
 a guy fill up a
 high topped sneaker
 with beer and chug
 it down.  Talk about
 disgusting." I was
 impressed.  I'd seen
 guys set their beard
 on fire drinking
 flaming shots, seen
 imploding fire farts
 but never a sneaker
 full of beer as a
 glass.  I sd.
 "They must have been
 Chuck Taylor's."
 Scornfully she replied:
 "No one wears Chuck's
 anymore." I tried to
 imagine myself handing
 over a Reebok and
 saying:"Here barkeep,   
 fill this up with
 Bass Ale." I couldn't
 do it, somehow if
 you were going to
 pull a stunt like
 that it had to be a
 black Chuck.

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