Linda M. Crate- Three Poems

once friend

i'm sorry more than ever
now that i lost you
you were one of my favorite
weirdos,
and though there may be
other weirdos in my
life now
no one could ever take your place;
you are one of a kind,
a diamond a magic that cannot be
replicated
because you were so full of youness
and so much was in your
muchness—
i cry because i miss you
sincerely doubt
you feel the same and that is within your
rights because i know i hurt you;
and i am sorry more than ever
that you're gone,
because there's so many things i've wanted
to tell you and so many things i wanted to share—
but all is left of you
is the memories i have and all this
longing in my heart
that we were still friends.



forever gone

i remember once
walking into
that club with you
i lost my inhibitions and
got buried in the music
there were no suns or moons or stars
to reflect their light upon me
i apparently shone with
my own magic
burned with my own light
because you looked at me with awe,
and i don't remember particularly
being beautiful that night
just losing myself
in the music and you marveled at
how i did;
and i laughed insisting i like music—
i still do,
but whenever i listen to kate bush or dir en grey
or vnv nation i am reminded of you
who told me scars were beautiful
i have now learned that lesson,
and i can see the beauty of scars but it's a pity
i had to learn that lesson
when there's so many oceans between us
and likely you'll be forever gone
from me.



dizzying vertigo

it's always hard for me to let go
i think it's because i never
truly do
i always love
even when it cuts like a knife, even
when it's hard;
long after i've been forgotten,
and i don't know what to do with the shards
of friendships dead—
all i know for certain is i miss you
i felt like i was taken for
granted,
and i hurt you;
i hate being the monster that threw your
light into darkness
if only for a moment
because you were one of the few weirdos
that understood me and ever cared
when no one else stood by me
you did—
i hate that i just drove you away
maybe i'm a masochist
just opening up my own heart
so i can bleed
one more time the dizzying vertigo can
actually be beautiful.