Linda M. Crate- Three Poems

sunshine

sometimes the sun shines
cold,
and sometimes the moon refuses
to come out at night;
i stand in the pouring rain wishing
that it would wash away
all the pain i cannot
confess—
i always feel so much
sometimes
i wish i could be lost in the seas of
apathy
because being sensitive and being an empath
sometimes rips at me with such violent
force
i feel as if i'm drowning;
reaching my hand out for help but no one grasps
it
they're too busy worrying about themselves to
see that i need them—
i have always had to be my own hero,
and so when people tell me that i can trust them
i never believe them because the people
that insist to me that they're good
hurt me the worst.



freeing you

the songs you sing
i don't believe in
because they're all self-important
narcissus, i will break
your mirror,
force you to see the truth;
i will let you see
the galaxy burning in my eyes
not because you deserve it but because
i cannot witness your
self-destruction
anymore—
so many times you said you would
help me,
but you never did
you always came too late with mirror
in hand;
today is the day that we shatter the
glass because my greatest
vice is wrath,
and i've been patient so long
i cannot hold on
anymore
i will lose to the monster inside if i do
don't want to be anger and wrath
again
i hated that of myself when i was a teenager—
today we break the glass,
and free you of
yourself.



to be loved

my bones are tired
i can't always
be my own hero
sometimes
you have need of others,
but no matter how
hard i scream
they cannot hear the lamentation
of my lungs;
i feel as if there's an anchor
around my ankles and i've been tossed into
the ocean
no matter how hard i try to swim to
the surface i can't with this
anchor on me—
but no one will help me get this anchor off
so the salt water invades my lungs
coughing up blood
they ask me for favors and i agree
because i've always
enjoyed helping people,
but i wish someone would take the anchor off
swim with me to the surface
remind me that there is still some humanity
left in this cold and broken world;
i just want to belong to
someone
to be loved enough to matter.