Two couples are talking about gambling as we eat our breakfast burritos and drink our coffees. Last night we watched two shows about gambling, one about a whale and another about a group of Christians who count cards ( and seem more like charlatans by the end of the documentary) this is my first time in Vegas and I pack lots of western clothes (a quick trip to Cavender’s boot city will suffice for belts and shirts and the like. ) I regretted wearing the western shirt with the bling because it caused me to get felt up at security (welcome to Vegas!) We are flying Southwest, the friendliest airline imaginable and even though it is way to early, I drink a Jack and coke, I am going to Vegas after all. The flight is full of mostly young people, but for some reason more little girls than I've ever seen on a flight. Something in the air in Vegas perhaps? One of them is playing “I spy” with her mother until I can't stand it any more and another one is drawing pictures. A stick girl with a triangle dress and long, abnormally long eyelashes. When I get up to go to the bathroom I spy a little boy watching a Michael Jackson video on an iPad. I feel a bit disturbed by that but the wait for the bathroom is long and I can only focus on my bladder. The flight attendant is eating a sandwich in a very stoic way. The pilot lands the plane the way you would expect an old navy veteran to land, distressfully. My body slumps forward my head against my ribcage.
Return Flight 4:00 pm
The return flight was delayed four hours. I didn’t wear the western clothes nearly as much as I expected. I was thinking about the movie “Electric Cowboy” with Robert Redford but Vegas is hot so shorts and t-shirts are fine. The main thing you wear in Vegas is money. People glue it to their lapels and stick it to the bottom of their shoes. They stuff it in large suitcases and toss it at the tables. Sometimes they take baths in it. The other thing I thought about while in Vegas was Hunter Thompson. I also watched Leaving Las Vegas when I got home. Big Mistake. It was even more depressing and I wanted to slap Nick Cage about a hundred times but i like the scene where they hang out in that sleazy hotel in the desert. Did I mention I really liked the Titanic-themed slot machines? It was so romantic you didn’t mind losing. Again, and again, and again. I didn’t drink a Jack and coke on the way home, I had a water. The pilot landed the plane even shittier than he did the first time so I knew it was the same guy, but this time the passengers started clapping after we sped back to the terminal. I think they were happy they made it out of Vegas in one piece and the Mob didn’t kidnap them for ransom.