Charles Rammelkamp- A Poem

American President

After the successful fifteen-year run of American Idol

and the countless “reality” competitions it helped spawn,

like schools of shimmering salmon darting upstream,

and a president who’d been a Reality TV judge himself

(we all remembered his famous line, You’re Fired!

eventually the slogan the Treasury put on our coins),

the nation went to a new reality show, American President,

elections already having been likened to “beauty contests”

(likewise don’t forget the Miss America pageant).

Since it is a “democracy” (wink, wink),

every citizen gets one vote, free

(provided they can produce photo ID),

but now, to help finance the cost of these competitions,

additional votes at $10 each are possible too,

as many as you want,

kind of like buying lottery tickets,

and just as everybody knows

the revenue from the sale of state lottery tickets

always goes exclusively to education,

thus easing the burden on taxpayers,

so citizens should be grateful for this break.

True, wealthier people can buy more ballots,

but since Citizens United that hasn’t mattered anyway,

right?

This is reality.