Tuesday, October 20, 2015

Donal Mahoney- Two Poems

Lunch with a Good Ol’ Boy Cancelled

I should have said yes,
meet you anywhere you want
for lunch, even that greasy spoon
with the lousy chili and corn dogs.
Every five years or so we meet
to recall the bad old days
and you always tell me that’s the way 
they make chili and corn dogs 
at home in the hills of Arkansas
and I always ask about the stills
and you tell me no more stills
since the repeal of Prohibition.
They never saw a salad in that place
I’m certain, but who cares.
I should have said yes,
meet you anywhere you want.
I promise you I'll go there today
and order chili and a corn dog
once I get back from the cemetery.

The Granny Bates Award

It’s Awards Night
at the Shady Acres Rest Home.
Everyone is propped

in folding chairs wondering
who the residents will give
their annual awards to.

Granny Bates says she will give 
her award to Martin and Hugh 
for changing the world the most.

Martin broke off from Rome
and gave everyone a choice
to attend his new church

or remain with Rome.
Others broke off from Martin. 
Now there are 23,000 churches

using the King James Bible yet
find verses they don’t agree on.
It’s a shame, says Granny.

All churches have leaders but 
Rome has the only pope although
some say there are 23,001 popes. 

Before Hugh brought out Playboy
men married women earlier in life 
and didn’t return them as often. 

Playboy paved the way for 
television and the Internet to let
men savor women from afar

without the manacles of marriage.
With all this in mind, Granny 
has decided to give her

Granny Bates Award for Choice to 
Martin and Hugh, not to the Court
that gave America Roe v. Wade.

Donal Mahoney lives in St. Louis, Missouri.

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