light of the world
i make others laugh
because i know what it's like to
be broken
smashed inward by the power
of words in a world
where people want to claim that words have no power,
but it is said God created the world
with words alone;
i am here to tell you they do matter
so watch your tongues
remember your words because they will linger
with those whom you love and hate;
sometimes i wish someone
would make me laugh for a change and tell me that
it's going to be okay
show me that i am worthy of being loved
for the love i so profoundly show others i desire to
be given to me
maybe that is selfish but i don't know how to do anything
but pour all of me in everything i do
in love—
all i want is to know i am not alone
everyone says people get lonely but do they know what it is
like to be divided from your own reality?
because i do,
and i have suffered many things
had to learn how to stitch my soul back together when people
chose to ignore my tears and refuse the existence that
they were real;
my whole body sighed and everyone was offended at my
attitude
not one of them asked me what was wrong or offered to help—
it is easier to let someone fall apart in the whispers
of the moonlight for them to care,
but i've never understood that because all i've ever done
is care
perhaps i love too hard and too much,
but i would rather be the light of the world than the darkness.
shipwrecked
maybe people just
enjoy that i
am a shipwreck
i dive into myself time and time again
dredging up
memories and killer whales
dolphins sing me to sleep,
but i thrash like a mermaid in a fisherman's net;
always wreck the sunsets until they become
moon slivers cold and remote
beating me to tears—
i have dreams,
but no one seems to listen
i'm just to support them without questioning
that they'll never support me
no matter how successful i am at reaching
for the stars of my dreams;
just makes me want to trip them on all my
drowned sailors
make them face the truth that it's not all about
simply them
that their ship isn't the only one that deserves to sail—
but they refuse to listen to me,
and then reprimand me
when i refuse to talk.
i will be brave
i try to keep the peace
trip over myself
in apologies
i shouldn't have to make,
and try not to
keep my waves to myself;
but maybe it's time
to become a hurricane and forget everything
they told me i should be
because i am sick of swallowing down my words
or being anything else than me
because someone might not be able to take it—
if you can't handle me at a hundred proof
then walk away
because i refuse to be the broken doll
that you enjoy talking about
behind your hands
i'm leaving that girl behind because i am a warrior
going to shoot arrows through all that set
fire to my dreams
because i am tired of being afraid of all the anxiety
i've had of people
because if they don't like me it's not my loss—
i care and i love and i do both hard and with the all of me
my emotions are intense and deep as the ocean
there's nothing to apologize for that
sensitivity, love, mercy, compassion, and empathy are my super powers
i won't hide them beneath the pearl of my tongue anymore
will let them shine like stars
so the misfits like me
can remember they're not alone.
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