Sunday, January 10, 2016

Alan Catlin- Three Poems

      The Herman Melville Lecture

 "I was at the Towne Tavern one afternoon
 and now that my beard is growing back
 I have a look like The Ancient Mariner
 or The Old Man of the Sea.  I was having
 a beer and enjoying some conversation
 with some friends when this innocent thing
 nearly of age walks up and asks:
 "Excuse me, sir, do you mind if I ask you
 a personal question?"
 "Not at all dear, fire away."
 "Are you Ernest Hemingway?"
 "No dear, but if I was I'd be well preserved
 having been dead for 50 or so years."
 And it only gets worse.  Seamus Heaney was
 in town for the annual Herman Melville Lecture
 that week.  I couldn’t believe how many kids
 were walking around telling other kids how
 Herman Melville, you know the guy who wrote
 Moby Dick, would be giving a lecture on Thursday;
 says a lot about our education system today."

      The Girl I Should Have Married

 "I might have married Judy but there was
 this thing that happened.  I was down
 on her heavy and her mother opened the door.
 All I could do was look up and there she was.
 She didn't say a word, didn't have to.
 I told Judy I had to leave.
 I'd had a few anyway so a little shut eye
 wouldn't have hurt me any.
 Imagine how I felt going back there.
 The old lady was belting her around pretty good.
 The old man didn't care but the old lady
 sure as hell did. 
 I knocked on the door and the old lady glares
 at me as if to say what the hell are you doing
 here, asshole?
 I can't leave without my car keys, Judy's got 'em.
 Couldn't marry a woman with a bitch like that
 for a mother.
 Too bad, she was a real enthusiastic woman
 when it came to sex."


 Tunes on the radio suggest it's a 60's
 kind of late afternoon out On the Boardwalk
 with The Drifters.  He's basking on the porch
 close to three hundred pounds of bloated flesh,
 most if it in a belly his kids can't refrain from
 poking as he yells over the music to his
 across-the-street neighbor,
 "They're going to set bail, it doesn't look good.
 We're talking 125 Grand, maybe more."
 "Ten percent has to be guaranteed, right?
 Why so high, what did he do?"
 "They caught him with like seven grams of coke,
 an unlicensed automatic weapon, an unspecified
 explosive device, and enough joints to turn on
 a football team."
 "Bad news, isn't it?"
 "The bad news is his prior for dealing to minors
 that went with another felony possession rap.
 He said he was innocent but he's already done time."
"How do you feel about it, I mean your brother
 getting jammed by the cops?"
 "It's not like he killed someone. He's still my bro
 and I'll be there to the end even if he gets Life."

1 comment:

  1. You rock with language that is true and provocative
    in sinc for our days. Had my birthday on the eighth of
    January.My best,as always,
    your friend bz