Ryan Hardgrove- Two Poems

The Good One’s

there’s so much to say

and I don’t know how to say it

or who would listen

or if I want anybody to listen

it all connects somehow

all these thoughts

and this place

and these people

and these words and worlds

everything

it’s way too massive

we don’t stand a chance

and we know this

so we hide

we hide within

each other

and we are safe

the love makes us safe

until the love runs dry

until they dam up your river

and irrigate the rest of the world

with your soul

we can’t win

but

we can’t lose either

we are already beaten

we lost the day

we were born

but still

we hold it all together

we go on everyday

knowing

that tomorrow

brings us one day closer to the end

and we hold it all

up on our shoulders

and straddle

sadness and sickness

and pain and anger

we hold it all together

not for ourselves

but for each other

and when it falls apart

we’ll laugh at the world

because

we tried

and that’s all

we can do

I’m a Hypocrite, but so are you

 

But wait

there’s more to say

or so I think every time

I finish a thought

or a cigarette

or an argument

or find myself alone

stuck under a roof

with nobody to talk to

except those four walls

that stare back at me

with the listless gaze

that’s painted onto

the millions of faces

sitting on couches

in living rooms

those four walls

always the same

 

and you see

it’s these thoughts

that keep erupting

keep breaking out

across my consciousness

like a rash

 

they revolve around my

nucleus-soul

like finicky little electrons

waiting for the appropriate stimuli

to excite them

into a chaotic churn of energy

and all those thoughts

circumnavigate my brain-soul

perpetuating this neuro-turbine of cognition

or sometimes

I smoke grass

and eat ice cream on the couch

while watching nature programs

fondling my belly hair

between spoonfuls

and then

there’s not much to say

Ryan Hardgrove is currently wading his way through his late twenties as a sloppy bartender and responsible father.  He is also a writer and a musician, but mostly he is a human being.  He lives in PIttsburgh, Pa with his beautiful common law wife and their son.