a reason to smile
i'm good at distancing people
that way i don't get hurt
forgetting it cuts
like a dagger either way
could have smiled at that little girl
today, but instead i looked away
her innocent heart could have been warmed
by my smile, but indifferently
i shut her out like a winter's wind;
cold as all the hurtful
people that stung me with their apathy
the guilt hounds me
long after she's forgotten
seeing my face —
i wish i could shed my scars
like snakeskin,
open my heart to trust again
be joyful as i was when
i was a child
running with outstretched arms toward
the sun
i'm going to smile
even when my heart's breaking
be a blessing not a burden in the world
for we're all struggling
against the hypocrisy of our glass castles
breaking with new found wounds.
rose petals
you were a swirling
vortex of rose
petals falling over me,
but even those
have razor edges;
and you cut me on the
rims of your
insincerity
your lack of remorse for
hurting me shows me
you never truly cared i was
simply a cheap thrill
another notch in your bedpost —
there are times that i hate
you, but i don't truly
because i love you
i don't like what you did or said
or how you made me feel
sometimes i don't even like you,
but i know
one day someone will heal me
from the scars you've
cut into me;
and one day someone will want a
forever love with me,
he'll make me feel beautiful —
the words he'll pull out
of me will etch the world in vibrant
hues you've long forgotten
in your pursuit of sex
you won't be able to find the love
we have,
and one day it'll be me
pitying you
hurting and alone.
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