dancing nightmare
i hate feeling this way,
but most of all i hate that you
lied to me; it hurts to
know i wasn't worth the truth
seems even you know there's shame
to be had in cheating on someone —
yet you don't care you emotionally
broke me; people's hearts are not
meant to be broken, and people are
not collectible games to be dusted
off and played when you need them —
life is not some video game, at some
point you have to claim responsibility
for your actions and be a man
instead of the overgrown child you've
grown comfortable being; you are
a weak selfish prick thinking with
the wrong head, and i still love you —
does that make me the bigger fool?
all i know is that it hurts deeper than all
wounds i've received in the past, i've
never known how deep the arrow lies
until you impaled me with true lust
mistaken for true love, and still there
is this connection that binds us in a kiss —
sometimes i pretend that day was a
dream, but i know it is reality
for it is too harsh and grating to
be anything less than real; why you
danced this nightmare over me i'll never
know, but if you had no intention
of marrying me you shouldn't have taken
the petals of my flowers into your greedy maw.
pandora's secret
you are the secret locked in pandora's jar
one day you broke free
reigned chaos into my life i mistook
for love; your lust burned me
so beautifully
in it's scripture, but no psalmist
would write you into the bible for you are
a sinner pretending sainthood;
you look like a christian and smell like one,
but your heart is rotted
lust and sex are the things you crave
you insist that you're the victim
when you're the predator
ripping every feather of my happiness in the
fangs of your gaping maw —
i loved you once, loved you still
always have and always will
but you're crazy to think that there will be
no consequences for your actions
you ruined my life;
do you think God will give you a free pass
for screwing angela?
oh, you fool!
he never told you to cheat on me, but you did
you're a horny teenager trapped in a man's body
with the mind of a child;
do you think in avoiding me that the problem
is solved, a solution has been devised in
the ignorance of my broken heart?
one day you will have to face your Maker
look him in the eyes,
tell him the reasons why you broke the heart of the
girl whose only crime was loving you and giving
you her virginity before marriage;
why you listened to satan
followed the object of your lust
why you gave up your heart and soul
for sin?
oh, i want to know
how you justify it all then —
want to know if He'll forgive you because i wouldn't
there are days i am trapped in the rain,
bleeding memories of your dancing
on the porch, kissing me
with the appearance of a handsome yet drowning wolf whose
compassion had blown away like the autumn leaves
you kissed me under one august.
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