Kelley White- Two Poems

Potter Place

Before Peyton there was Potter

who packed houses in Boston

and Baltimore, best entertainer

of his day, who said he was the bastard

son of a baronet and a slave, who said

he was creole, who said he was Indian,

never saying if American or Asian, who

danced on eggs, pulled seven wagons

with his chest, curled in an oven with raw

mincemeat pies and came out unbaked,

retired to a small New Hampshire hamlet, built

a grand house, followed his wife up a rope

and disappeared, and then the house

disappeared, and the town, all gone but

for a square rock-walled paddock graveyard

and a green and white historical plaque:

“This 19^th century master of the black

arts was known throughout America.”

And down the road in Franklin is born

the massmurderer Dr. Holmes.

Salt Lake Shocker

and HERE’s the photo to prove it! 

3-legged skater banned! Hockey

players are America’s smartest

athletes.  Every time I get plastered

my wife gets pregnant!  Nessie pregnant--

& Champ’s the daddy.  American monster

left her high & dry, charge angry Scots! 

Cleveland fights back.  New Jersey bum

is the real King of England! “If they let her

on the ice, we’re toast,” say superstars.

Statue of the Queen has human skin.

Coot, 89, has  world’s oldest working

dentures.  Gal strangled by her own bra &

panties. Mama was a saint–but I killed

her anyway! “They just keep getting tighter

and tighter!” Virgin Mary says: Repent–

the End Times are here. Egypt seeks

return of ‘McMummies’ from McDonald’s. 

Bighearted boss opens brewery for employees! 

Raccoons drink beer but won’t do laundry. 

I’m God’s gift to women–& I’ve got

12 kids to prove it! U.S. exporting lap

dancers to Afghanistan. I’m short, fat

and ugly–but gals ADORE me!

Was I wicked in a past life? Psychic fly

swatted. ‘It was a terrible, terrible mistake,’

says secretary.  I’m dying to marry

the lunatic who shot me twice!  If I had

taken your advice,  Dotti, I wouldn’t be

dead!

Pediatrician Kelley White worked in inner-city Philadelphia and now works in rural New Hampshire. Her poems have appeared in journals including Exquisite Corpse, Rattle and JAMA.  Her most recent books are TOXIC ENVIRONMENT (Boston Poet Press) and TWO BIRDS IN FLAME (Beech River Books.) She received a 2008 PCA grant.