Tough December.
When I was younger
I had just turned
eighteen
I lived for a couple of
weeks with my grandmother
(Since I didn’t talk to
my father then
And my mom was in
Greece)
In that gloomy dark
house, made of wood and red bricks
With its leaking roof
And the rain drops oozed
and leaked left and right
And we had positioned
buckets
In all the areas of
seepage
And we would empty them
every three or four hours
Even at night, I’d
regulate the alarm clock and in the absolute darkness
I’d empty them holding a
candle whose flame trembled
Much like my patience
We didn’t have
electricity most of the time
The state sold the
electricity
And as with most things
On the expense of the
poor
My grandfather had
recently died,
He was a good man and
funny
Died in his sleep one
morning
Had a disease that
didn’t hurt him
Life was kind to him on
that
Like a proper lady
But my grandmother
Married to him since the
age of sixteen
Hadn’t gotten used to
living by herself yet
And she had become a
pathetic and whining old woman
And when she was alone
and wasn’t aware that I was watching
She talked to her self –
A really miserable sight
To see a crooked short
little human
Ignored by life and
forgotten by death
Having murmuring
conversations with herself
While knitting and
bleeding her fingers in the process
Because her eyesight was
terrible
She also had this
extreme phobia
Of thunders
And it was their time
too
She would cover the
mirrors
With blankets
For some reason
And slumped in bed and
tremble
Even though I tried to
comfort her
By saying its nothing
And even attempted to
explain to her
That thunders come from
the electricity
That passes through and
shakes the air particles
And that the noise is
mere vibrations
But things like these
have no effect to the uneducated
And anyway it was too
late for her to unlearn
Her habits and fears
Even if that resulted in
her benefit
She also had insomnia
the poor thing
And that’s why I’d buy
two bottles of wine
Cheap of course
And we’d drink each
night in the kitchen
Talking
And then she’d finally
fall asleep
And I’d go to my room
And get hammered with
the solid conviction
That I would never allow
myself to get old-
Also to endure the day passed and the one that
would follow-
Life began each morning
and had new torments and boredoms
To donate
The next days my
grandmother would still whine about her insomnia
Even though I’d listen
to her snoring till 5 in the morning
When I’d fall asleep,
Another habit of hers it
was too late to take away from
One night I asked her
about grandfather
And she told me stories
And told me of his final
night
She said he sat in the
kitchen
And crooned a poem he
had written about his mother
And that he would meet
her really soon
My grandmother
Yelled at him to come to
bed
But my grandfather responded
that she should not wait for him
Because tomorrow he
would die
He was sure of it
He didn’t sleep at all
that night
And at dawn he went out
And bought fruits
And a lot of
strawberries that my grandmother liked so much
And he laid at 7 in the
morning
And never woke again.
The worst thing was that
no one ate
The fruits
Everybody was too sad to
eat
I guess in an old couple
The one that dies first
Is the luckiest.
Ushtray Note
And you lean the bottle
over the empty glass
trying to fill something
but the bottle is done for.
You are more sober than drunk
and you are alone
smoking
typing away
searching companionship
in a world with people
that are already there.
And you're left
scratching your beard
thinking
under a sky
as empty
as everything else.
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