Jenuine Poetess- Two Poems

Jenuine Poetess is the founder of Waco Poets Society and of ITWOW International--a writing circle project for womyn with chapters in Los Angeles, Texas, and Lebanon. She lives rooted in the fierce conviction that fostering the creative health of individuals & communities is a matter of justice. Jenuine currently writes and creates in Central Texas where she enjoys finding artful ways to disrupt the homeostasis of her city. 

[tired]

I'm tired of being called
too sensitive
by those without empathy

I’m tired of being told
I'm too loud
by those who do not listen
who continually speak
for others

I'm tired of words not matching
actions not matching words

I'm tired of fighting battles
barely surviving my own wars
only to be told
I actually have it really good

pain is not a contest
every hurt is valid

I'm tired of being scolded to treat my grief
with gratitude
because
there is no cure for loss
and I can still whisper my thanks
through unspeakable agony

I'm tired of apologizing
for taking up space
for having thoughts
for no longer being willing to take anyone’s abuse

I'm tired of ignorance and violence
winning

I'm tired of appearances
being valued over integrity

I'm tired of racism killing our babies
our mothers
our fathers
sisters & brothers

I'm tired of hate
and fear
they are draining my marrow

I'm tired of writing these
grief-stricken poems

I'm tired of being afraid of the repercussions
of telling my truths

and I'm tired of knowing that
my tired
doesn't even
begin
to amount to the exhaustion of my
black
brown
trans*
queer
refugee
persecuted
profiled
discriminated
trafficked
child-solidered
oppressed kindred

I'm just
so
fucking tired

[the conjuring]

in the dead of night
we resurrect memories
moments
conjuring clever canticles

in between shadows
we fashion found phrases
into
shape shifting sonnets
hexing haiku
vacant villanelles

ghost poets haunt
small hours of night
catching
gathering
spinning dreams
into verse
unrehearsed