DB Cox- A Poem

diary of a snake-eyed man

i am a snake-eyed man
each day i walk
your city's streets and boulevards
i am a phantom
leaving no tracks
constantly glancing back over my shoulder
to make sure of my frail shadow
which pales a little each day
fading from rage
to resignation
to nothing
i am alienated from all gods
lost to myself
with no promise to hope for

i turn on a merry-go-round of non-being
impoverished
deprived
like lazarus at the feast
i hide inside ever-enhanced
electronic distractions
to search for the new american dream
an inadequate tactic
which has only served
to tighten the chains
& increase the distance
between myself & the bona-fide world
i delight in any breaking news
of war
of natural disasters
of plane crashes
of mass murders
of beheadings
of burnings
because
something
anything
is better than this nothingness
_____

a lost dog moans--3 A.M.
i am too spent
to calculate the sum of scattered thoughts
i wait in my tiny room
windows closed
doors bolted
another american statistic
caught between walls of sameness
pondering my lost investment in paradise
old lies falling away
with every day that passes
solitude is the condition of my existence
anger is the element of my being
if the earth were filled with TNT
i would put a match to the ground
& tear the darkness with absolute noise

"the perfect terrorist"
no religions
no politics
no objectives
no agendas
as cold as a "black hole" in space
_____

very soon
i will stalk your shopping malls
your schools
your movie houses
your airports
your military bases
your sporting events

another machine-shaped beast of prey
out to forge a perfect storm of death

i will transform this "nowhere man"
into the imagined self
he has longed to become

once more, you will ask:
who is this man?
why did he do it?
why is his "story," "the american story"

once more, you will stand hidden
behind tilted window shades
& stare out at your slipping world
hoping the "good guys"
with the guns
will show themselves soon
& slow this crazy breakdown