This spirit is
speaking
How much must I tell
you,
with the dark sorcerers
seeding my
potted plants and the old
ways lost to
new ways yet unfound? How
many times
must I twitch at the
remembrance
of my cut throat in spring,
contain my tears
in see-through plastic and
continue to watch
the world go around, without
a hiccup?
Acknowledge my fight, my
flight into the wolf’s den.
I am not a whale, pure as
garnet,
nor am I full of your
grandeur
and the calm, strong dive
down.
I have the blood of a
prophet, but not the backbone.
Side-swatted into a long
consuming grief
and the world is just the
same: Brides and school bells.
How long must I explain? I
have lost the contours
of my face. There is a
man
on my kitchen floor
deliberately, almost artistically,
shaving my fleshless bones.
One by one, like that,
I am
unformed.
Three days
panicked by my bed stand,
calling out.
They put me under covers.
They wet
my forehead but the fever was
too bright inside of me.
Words were
repeating.
Words were fireflies swarming
my optical nerve.
They did not see the vision.
They tried to stop my shaking.
They could not know that in
the end,
I was left with a
choice.
It was in my power to affirm
or deny.
It was a light so potent,
sharp as broken ice,
demanding. It was strength
and perfection
without tenderness. How could
that be love? They
were love - weeping for me,
making promises
of togetherness for
eternity.
Three days since I was found
and they’ve never left my side.
In these arms that hold me,
is a devotion
that comforts. I am better
now. At last, I am called.
When we
land
it will be like the pilot
ejected from his plane,
finally touching soft
ground.
It will be a handshake that
means forever,
many seasons of ripe cherries
-
an evergreen growing in the
basement.
And all the stars will sing
“kindness eternal”
like a summer beach without
the crowds or looming sharks.
And happy will be our hands
swinging from trees,
made whole again by the
healing act of honest love.
We will walk briskly. We will
be smiling. Miracles
are born from the emptiness
and
the longing for ancient
beginnings.
Blue Jade under the
pillow.
Our animal shapes, rising
internal.
When we land, we will smell
the nightmares evaporating,
senselessness will have run
its course.
And all that we lost, and all
that we never had
will blend in beautifully,
transcended
by this
direction.
Bio:
Allison Grayhurst is a member of the League of Canadian Poets. She has over 650
poems published in more than 310 international journals. She has eleven
published books of poetry, seven collections, seven chapbooks and a chapbook
pending publication She lives in Toronto with her family. She also sculpts,
working with clay; www.allisongrayhurst.com
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