Goodbye to This & That & Him
I’m tired of being
hubby’s slave,
sick of dark
insulting eyes,
bruises left by
words I don’t exchange,
keeping those he hit
me with.
Tired of fretting
silences,
baking cakes in
acquiescence, giving him
both lobster tails we
can’t afford.
I stash a one-way
ticket in my purse,
pack as fast as
hands can move—
stuff in clothes
like wadded rags.
No room for coats in
case it’s cold.
One pair of
shoes—they’re on my feet.
No room for bottles
of perfume.
No room for basic
toiletries.
I scrub the kitchen
twice at least,
just in case the
other woman wants to cook.
A three-page letter open
on our dining table—
used for coasters under
a vial of spendy scotch.
Hustle, hustle, hurry up before
you hear the doorknob turn.
I call a cab—we sit
in stretching traffic jams,
a dozen trucks and
mini-vans, smothered
in white cherry
blossoms—inches thick.
Drivers thrashing
windshield wipers,
treating them like
falling sleet,
taking out the honey
bees that follow petals
wherever they chance
to land.
I know I’ve hated
living here between the bars
on every window near
the ground—
where going to a grocery
store
means two sore heels
from steel carts.
Where no one speaks,
not even birds.
I left the car keys
by the door.
He’ll need them, learning
how to drive.
Next to them—a can
of mace (a birthday gift
for running errands
late at night), my wedding ring.
Rays of light are
fast asleep, but
suns of polished
marigolds must lie ahead.
My dad will meet me
at the plane—
the other end of incubus.
Bio: Janet I. Buck
Janet Buck is a seven-time Pushcart Nominee and
the author of three full-length collections of poetry; her work has won
numerous literary awards and she has published roughly 4,000 poems and
non-fiction essays in print and internet journals around the globe during her
18 year writing career. Buck's most
recent poems are scheduled for publication in forthcoming issues of The Milo
Review, Misfit Magazine, The Ann Arbor Review, Antiphon, River Babble,
PoetryBay, and other journals worldwide.
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