summer fair people
there they are
the bored and the dull
they come out every year at this time
to suck on fried dough and undercooked italian sausage
to listen to terrible bands playing bad cover jams
the fat mothers and fat fathers munching kettle corn
their fat children bouncing around
in inflatable rooms that look ready to burst
teenage boys ready to pop the cherries of teenage girls
the dozens of happy young couples
eating dripping ice cream cones
pushing around wailing children in the humidity and heat
the old soldiers with their wwii and vietnam frocks
stumbling down the dirty block to drums that are off beat
the locals drunks coming out of local watering holes
leaning into corners to watch the action
they are all here sweating and dying
taking a respite from work and each other
watching the hot dog and pizza eating contests
that still bear witness to american gluttony
that still bear witness to american gluttony
and the tepid might of our ever-dwindling spending dollar
laughing as their children vomit
from ancient spinning rides that look more
like torture devices than amusement
all of these slap-happy summer fair people
with this month’s catch phrase
plastered along their wide bellies and wide asses
the good citizens eating more shit that they
can shove in their faces
the good neighbors buying more shit
to sell to everyone at next year’s yard sale
the whole community walking around like grinning zombies
with balloon animals strapped to their heads
taking photos with corporate fast food mascots
and politicians who are just as swarthy and deceptive
be careful or you’ll end up just like them
waddling around drinking two gallon sodas
farting and burping and pissing the american dream
mad slow and stupid on fat sugar and salt
as the pigeons and rats and the homeless look on
waiting for it all to end again
so that they can finally feast
on all of this seasonal bounty.
thursday afternoon
there are five of them
waiting on the platform at 20th avenue
two girls and three boys
when they get on the train, loud and vicious
they split up
the girls go toward one end
the boys sit next to me
they give the girls a chance to sit down
and then smallest one
(isn’t it always the smallest one)
starts
he cups his mouth
he shouts, ya’ll a bunch a pussies
ya’ll cunts
lydia….cunt
you too, maria
ya’ll a bunch a pussies, he repeats
so that only the deaf and the dead haven’t heard him
no one responds to the kid
not even the girls
maybe we’ve all grown too accustomed to this shit
or we just want to get the hell home
christ, he’s not even that old
leaning more toward thirteen than a young man
up with fellas
down with ugly bitches, he shouts
and it echoes through the train like a cannon shot
then the boys slap each other five and laugh
they are all dressed the same
in clothing telling them to OBEY
well, i guess they’re off to a great start in this country
i look down toward the girls
they are laughing and playing music
if the boys have gotten to them you’d never know
but girls have to learn early here
they have to learn to scrape indignity off with a smile
bitch whore cunt pussies
at 61st street the little boy rises with me to
leave
but not before getting in one more shot
ya’ll is ugly pussy bitch, he shouts
then he gets off the train laughing
but it doesn’t last too long
his face turns into a permanent smirk
i look at him
i wonder what it would take to grab him in the station
right here
right now
put the fear of god in the little punk
tell him if i ever catch you talking to women like that
again….
this strutting piece of american privilege
on a thursday afternoon
he wouldn’t listen to me anyway
i’d be another pussy
so i let him go toward his connecting train
and i go off toward mine
doing my part to let the misogyny perpetuate
wondering what in the world i’ll say about this
to my wife
our mothers
your sisters
to everyone’s daughter and niece.
when old friends
become devoutly religious
at first there is some shock
or it is like watching a bad horror film
or there is no shock and it was always inevitable
but there is a hollow sadness
not unlike standing around someone’s wake
and you wonder if there was anything
that you could’ve done to save them
maybe called more
invited them out for a beer and some conversation
been the one to lend an ear and offer advice
instead of spending years stuck in your own malaise
looking for the kind of answers
that only come through bathing in fire
still you can’t believe that this is the guy
yes, that one posting photos of church breakfasts online
telling everyone that his favorite book is the bible
was once the dude who screwed everything that walked
behind his wife’s back
or how that one is now this foreign specimen
who enjoys christian rock and no longer drinks alcohol
was the one who used to beat his woman for no reason
or he was the one who always went to strip clubs with you
the one who got drunk in bars
and then made you spend hours casing downtown
looking for whores
it’s hard to look at these transformed hypocrites
dressed in their sunday best with their lifeless families
praising jesus, jesus, always jesus
hating gays and immigrants and all other enemies of the
state
when you were once with them
swinging baseball bats at senior citizens
on snowy highways caught in a sweaty speed pill fervor
stealing tip money and dumping beer
on drunk girls in even drunker bars
listening with jealous glee as they told you blow job
stories
done in church parking lots on the cheap
or how you sat idly in parks on humid summer nights
as they molested underage girls on clay tennis courts
you wonder what it was that caused them to fall so badly
to take up such a fragile and transparent yoke as organized
religion
age or boredom or both?
and what kind of seething, perverted rage
still exists deep within the well of them
when it could come out to shine anew
you hope to hell that this is just temporary
but deep down you know that the religion trap lasts forever
and that there is nothing else to do for these lost souls
but close the internet browser on them
don’t answer the emails and never pick up the phone
when they call
mourn their memory until the pain no longer exists
get on with the living
instead of becoming as they have
just another one
of the walking dead
waiting on the afterlife.
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