Donal Mahoney- A Poem

Horns Over Hooves

You meet all kinds of women in pubs,

women far different than women

you meet in church on Sunday

when you're in a pew with your wife

which is why I was surprised to hear

this beautiful woman two stools over

ask me if I believed in angels 

before I had ordered a drink. 

Well, as a matter of fact, I do,

I said, happy to get the small stuff

out of the way before we got down

to business, whatever that might be.

What kind of angels do you believe in, 

she smiled and asked, sipping a Guinness.

Well, I believe in seraphim, cherubim,

principals, thrones, dominations, all 

the different choirs of angels 

listed in the Bible I studied in school.

What about guardian angels, she asked.

Do you believe you have one?

Indeed I do believe I have one, I said,

although I saw no reason why guardian angels

couldn't be women if angels had genders

which as pure spirits they don't have.

And what does your guardian angel do,

she inquired, getting rather personal.

Well, I said, my guardian angel is busy

from the moment I get up at dawn

till I fall back in the sack at night

because Satan or one of his minions

is always trying to worm his way 

into my mind, memory or imagination

trying to get me to do things

forbidden by the Ten Commandments.

For example, whenever I see a beautiful woman, 

Satan always says I should introduce myself

and I always ask my guardian angel if I should

and he always asks what my wife would say

and I always ask if I have to tell her

and he always says I should keep walking

while he does what guardian angels do

and knocks Satan horns over hooves

back into Hades, something he does for me

several times a day, especially when

I stop at this train station pub for 

root beer on ice when my train is late 

and a beautiful woman two stools over

smiles and asks if I believe in angels.

Donal Mahoney lives in St. Louis, Missouri.