Donal Mahoney- Two Poems

Maiden Aunt Advises Niece Tiffany

A new coiffure would help.

Your hair should flounce

when you walk.

Spiff up your wardrobe.

Try cashmere sweaters

and fitted skirts.

Great shoes are a must.

Heels high enough to click 

"Welcome" on the sidewalk.

You're a lady, Tiffany.

That's important but

bait sets the hook.

Add frippery to folderol 

and stroll down Fifth Avenue

on a brilliant summer day.

Wear a new frock

and don't just sashay.

Put some oomph into it. 

Smile for no reason at all.

And before summer's over,

you'll be wearing a big ring.

Fruit Cocktail

I met a man with many wives

when I was selling pots and pans

door-to-door out West.

He owned a ranch

and wore patched overalls 

with red suspenders plus 

a cowboy hat above 

a bushy black mustache.

We got to talking

at the General Store 

and I asked him why 

one wife wasn't enough.

He said, "You like fruit?"

"All but grapefruit."

"Understood," the fellow said,

"but every now and then

I bet you'd like a peach 

instead of a banana or 

an apple instead of an orange." 

"Understood," I said.

"It's like pots and pans.

One pot's great for oatmeal

but you'll need a different one

for a fine ragout."

Donal Mahoney lives in St. Louis, Missouri.